Biggest Story in 2010? The Gulf Oil Spill. That was big. But the second biggest story was this one.
Dateline Beverly Hills, California, July 29, 2010. This just in:
Bowing to public pressures and the call to action by irate California officials, the Board of the Beverly Hills-headquartered Campett Corp has just announced that Jed will be replaced as head of the Clampett clan effective immediately. Multi-millionaire Jed and the OK Oil Company he leads have been under fire from many fronts since it came to light that his reckless marksmanship back in Tennessee caused an uncontrolled and unprecedented oil spill there.
“What it was, was an unmitigated unnatural disaster for residents, wildlife and our town’s fragile tourist economy,” claims the Mayor of Gooberville, Will Chasen. "We done ran Jed and his kind right out of town here because of those reckless actions – I don’t know where the cussed varmint fled to, to tell you the truth,” mused the Mayor. The Federal agency that issued the huntin’ license to Clampett and his oil company could not be reached for comment at the time of the incident, or anytime thereafter. Officials have since renamed that government division the “Black Gold Ladies Aid Society” in an attempt to revamp its image with the public.
Reportedly, the Clampett Board will be meeting tomorrow to select a new clan leader and that the Board is hungry for new blood from the outside to help re-polish the tarnished Clampett brand. Sources indicate that among the individuals under serious consideration are Tony Blair and Tony Hayward from “away,” or possibly Beverly Hills' own Tony Awards. The family spokesperson would neither confirm nor deny those rumors.
___________________
Related story: Interview here with Gooberville resident Skeeter McCoy who lost his squirrel farming business because of the Clampett disaster and hasn’t worked a day since.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas Spirits
While shaving and dressing on Christmas Eve morning, the radio was broadcasting some dramatic readings excerpted from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Thinking of Ebenezer and his business partner Jacob Marley, I mused that my wife and I had our own three spirits of Christmas visit us this year.
Christmas Past. December 23rd marked the 44th anniversary of my wife and I meeting for the first time. It was while Christmas caroling with a church group in Needham, Massachusetts when were both in high school. The Methodist church in town held a street caroling event, maybe annually, I’m not really sure. This was not my family’s church but a number of my friends attended. One of those friends, Chris Ryder, asked if I wanted to accompany him to a Christmas party one coming evening. A girl from his church invited him and did not mind if he brought along some friends. But the catch was we had to attend the caroling event that preceded the party at her house – just showing up at the party would have been tacky (What class my friend Chris had! He could separate tacky behavior from “we’re just dumb teens”). So we committed to the caroling and caught up to the crowd of adults, teens and kids in front of the Needham Fire Station. There was a wider group of friends from the church there and one introduced me to my future spouse that evening, on the sidewalk, under a dark and crisp sky, in the midst of Methodists’ caroling.
Christmas Present. We’ve been without a formal church home for sometime – about two years I calculate. When the gas prices shot up in mid 2008 the church we had been attending several towns and 45 minutes away just didn’t seem like the right home for us any longer. Because we were not part of that geographic community, it was difficult to connect with folks at times other than Sunday mornings. For those of you who know New England, finding a suitable church can be easier said than done. Plus, we were a bit burned out from past church involvement and just welcomed an opportunity to be attendees for a while instead of roll-up-your-shirtsleeves members. So we’ve “visited” a number of churches within a closer radius to our home. One church we attended on a Sunday last Spring didn’t seem like a good fit for us at the time; but we gave it a second chance before Thanksgiving and after several Sundays it’s beginning to feels more like a fit. We’re certainly happy that we have regained an enthusiasm to get up each Sunday morning and attend church. It has been a real blessing, and especially nice during this Advent season.
Christmas Future. In August of 2010 we were blessed with a grandson from our youngest daughter and her husband. Our first grandchild, so naturally these new grandparents can’t help thinking about new life and specifically of Caleb’s future. Just anticipating next Christmas and seeing it through a young child’s joy keeps us wondering out loud.
Christmas Past. December 23rd marked the 44th anniversary of my wife and I meeting for the first time. It was while Christmas caroling with a church group in Needham, Massachusetts when were both in high school. The Methodist church in town held a street caroling event, maybe annually, I’m not really sure. This was not my family’s church but a number of my friends attended. One of those friends, Chris Ryder, asked if I wanted to accompany him to a Christmas party one coming evening. A girl from his church invited him and did not mind if he brought along some friends. But the catch was we had to attend the caroling event that preceded the party at her house – just showing up at the party would have been tacky (What class my friend Chris had! He could separate tacky behavior from “we’re just dumb teens”). So we committed to the caroling and caught up to the crowd of adults, teens and kids in front of the Needham Fire Station. There was a wider group of friends from the church there and one introduced me to my future spouse that evening, on the sidewalk, under a dark and crisp sky, in the midst of Methodists’ caroling.
Christmas Present. We’ve been without a formal church home for sometime – about two years I calculate. When the gas prices shot up in mid 2008 the church we had been attending several towns and 45 minutes away just didn’t seem like the right home for us any longer. Because we were not part of that geographic community, it was difficult to connect with folks at times other than Sunday mornings. For those of you who know New England, finding a suitable church can be easier said than done. Plus, we were a bit burned out from past church involvement and just welcomed an opportunity to be attendees for a while instead of roll-up-your-shirtsleeves members. So we’ve “visited” a number of churches within a closer radius to our home. One church we attended on a Sunday last Spring didn’t seem like a good fit for us at the time; but we gave it a second chance before Thanksgiving and after several Sundays it’s beginning to feels more like a fit. We’re certainly happy that we have regained an enthusiasm to get up each Sunday morning and attend church. It has been a real blessing, and especially nice during this Advent season.
Christmas Future. In August of 2010 we were blessed with a grandson from our youngest daughter and her husband. Our first grandchild, so naturally these new grandparents can’t help thinking about new life and specifically of Caleb’s future. Just anticipating next Christmas and seeing it through a young child’s joy keeps us wondering out loud.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Eve
I’m reading Primal – A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity by Mark Batterson. Some of his reflections that seem appropriate to me on Christmas Eve:
“I’m afraid we’ve lost our holy curiosity. We’ve settled for thoughtless theologies and mindless theologies. Why? Because it’s much easier to give answers than it is to ask questions. But Jesus didn’t just give answers. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus answered a question with a question? It seems to me we’re afraid of questions. We’re afraid of asking them, and we’re afraid of answering them.
The quest for the lost soul of Christianity is a quest driven by questions. Any question. Every question. But especially those most difficult and most important questions: Who is God? Who am I? And what is the true purpose of life? Holy curiosity isn’t satisfied with easy answers. It doesn’t settle for the platitudes we’ve picked up along the way. Holy curiosity asks the tough questions, the honest questions, the questions everyone else is afraid to ask. God isn’t threatened by those questions.
Maybe it’s time to admit that we don’t know all the answers. But we know the One who does. Maybe we’ve been offering the wrong thing. We offer answers. God offers a relationship through Jesus Christ. His answer to our question isn’t knowledge. It’s a relationship. And that relationship is the answer to every question.”
“I’m afraid we’ve lost our holy curiosity. We’ve settled for thoughtless theologies and mindless theologies. Why? Because it’s much easier to give answers than it is to ask questions. But Jesus didn’t just give answers. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus answered a question with a question? It seems to me we’re afraid of questions. We’re afraid of asking them, and we’re afraid of answering them.
The quest for the lost soul of Christianity is a quest driven by questions. Any question. Every question. But especially those most difficult and most important questions: Who is God? Who am I? And what is the true purpose of life? Holy curiosity isn’t satisfied with easy answers. It doesn’t settle for the platitudes we’ve picked up along the way. Holy curiosity asks the tough questions, the honest questions, the questions everyone else is afraid to ask. God isn’t threatened by those questions.
Maybe it’s time to admit that we don’t know all the answers. But we know the One who does. Maybe we’ve been offering the wrong thing. We offer answers. God offers a relationship through Jesus Christ. His answer to our question isn’t knowledge. It’s a relationship. And that relationship is the answer to every question.”
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
A Charlie Brown Triumph
A Charlie Brown Christmas first aired in December 1965. Commissioned by Coca-Cola, Charles Schulz and the production company finished the show just barely one week before the broadcast date. When it was pre-screened by two top executives at CBS they were underwhelmed at the final product. “Well, you gave it a good shot,” said one. “It seems a little flat…a little slow,” said the other. “Well,” said the first, “we will, of course, air it next week, but I’m afraid we won’t be ordering any more.”
The rest, as they say, is history as the special knocked the socks off a pre-Woodstock, pre-Superbowl America and has aired on TV every Christmas since 1965. Even though we have the special on VHS and DVD at my house, my tradition is to try to watch it “live” every Christmas season. I’ve been known to watch it by myself in a hotel room in some far-flung city while I was traveling in December on business. There is something different about the “live experience.”
I feel sorry for those who think of Schulz’s animated classic as only a “cartoon.” In the Newark Star Ledger on December 1, 1995, columnist Matt Zoller Seitz hit the target when he wrote:
“Television today favors fast, frequent, exaggerated bursts of action and confrontation. In comparison, A Charlie Brown Christmas is almost unnervingly reflective, dependent on words, emotions and small grace notes rather than speed, glitz and noise.
Charlie Brown… is America’s most-beloved loser, forever falling short of his goals, endlessly stung by failure. Yet he keeps striving in his own mopey, block-headed way, to become a better person and to make the rest of us better, too.
In the process, he gives his friends, his dog, himself and us an invaluable Christmas gift: the gift of introspection. As we watch the Peanuts gang singing songs around a little tree nobody wanted, we realize that unless we’re willing to look inward, to recognize our own selfishness and conquer it, we remain incapable of bringing lasting happiness to others. We remain boxed inside our own preconceptions like beautiful unwrapped presents.”
And regarding the highlight of the classic special, a scene Charles Schulz insisted be kept in the production, Gene Edward Veith wrote a number of years ago:
“A Charlie Brown Christmas deals precisely with the misunderstandings of Christmas—the commercialism, the frustrations, the frenetic efforts to attain a perfect holiday. But the story is resolved when Linus on the stage simply recites the account of Christ's birth from the second chapter of Luke. ‘For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.’ That is the best moment in Christmas TV.”
Amen to that.
Let It Snow
Lots of weather-related travel disruptions across Europe this holiday season. I feel bad for those stuck in airports trying to get somewhere for Christmas. So it’s not a funny situation by any means, but then there’s this gem buried in an article on Yahoo! News:
"I am extremely concerned about the level of disruption to travel across Europe caused by severe snow. It is unacceptable and should not happen again," European transport commissioner Siim Kallas said.
Hear that snow gods? You’ve been forewarned by a European official no less!
"I am extremely concerned about the level of disruption to travel across Europe caused by severe snow. It is unacceptable and should not happen again," European transport commissioner Siim Kallas said.
Hear that snow gods? You’ve been forewarned by a European official no less!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
In Praise of Alvin
No, we’re not talking about the animated musical group, Alvin and the Chipmunks created by Ross Bagdasarian (stage name David Seville) in 1958. A classic novelty record act, the Chipmunks themselves were named after the executives at their original record label. But hey, I digress (you distracted me, didn’t you?).
Alvin is a 16-ton, manned deep-ocean research submersible owned by the United States Navy and operated by the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI). The submersible was named to honor the prime mover and creative inspiration for the project, Allyn Vine, a scientist at WHOI. Alvin was put into service in mid 1964 (5 months after the Beatles stormed the Ed Sullivan show and 5 years before man walked on the moon). This was a time when French oceanographer and SCUBA inventor Jacques Cousteau was all over our black & white TV sets showing us how to explore our watery planet. The oceans were spoken of as man’s salvation for their mineral wealth, aquaculture potential and maybe future human habitats. High School guidance counselors assumed that a large percent of their graduating classes would be employed in some facet of ocean-related careers. As it turned out, not-so-much.
But Alvin has had a stellar run and this month will be sidelined for 18 months of refurbishing – not its first make-over in its long career. The three-person vessel allows for two scientists and one pilot to dive for up to nine hours at 15,000 ft. The submersible features two robotic arms and can be fitted with mission-specific sampling and experimental gear. Alvin has taken 12,000 people on over 4,000 dives to observe the life forms that must cope with super-pressures and move about in total darkness. Some claim that research conducted by Alvin has been featured in nearly 2,000 scientific papers. Talk about publish-or-perish!
On 17 March 1966, Alvin was used to locate a submerged 1.45-megaton hydrogen bomb lost in a United States Air Force midair crash between a B-52 bomber and a KC-135 tanker during mid-air refueling over Palomares, Spain. Three of four unarmed hydrogen bombs carried by the B-52 landed on Palomares while a forth fell into the sea. After much searching Alvin found the missing bomb found resting nearly 3000 ft deep.
A year later Alvin encounter a somewhat less dangerous situation as it was attacked by a swordfish during a dive at 2,000 ft. The swordfish became trapped in Alvin's skin, and the submersible made an emergency return to the surface – where the swordfish was recovered and cooked for dinner.
Another Alvin accomplishment was locating the wreckage of the USS Scorpion (SSN-589), a nuclear armed Skipjack class submarine which sank for unknown reasons off the coast of the Azores in 1968. The Alvin was able to obtain photographic and other environmental monitoring data from the remains of the Scorpion.
Late in 1968 Alvin, was lost as it was being transported aboard the NOAA tender ship Lulu and two steel cables snapped when it was being lowered into the water for a planned dive. The three crewmembers escaped, but Alvin flooded and sank in 5000 ft of water. Severe weather prevented the immediate recovery of but it was photographed on the bottom in June 1969 and found to be upright and apparently intact. It was decided to attempt recovery of Alvin; although no object of that size had ever been recovered from a depth of 5,000 feet. In late August 1969, another submersible was able to secure a line and safety slings on the Alvin allowing it to be hauled up to near the surface where it was slowly towed back to Woods Hole.
Alvin continued to serve marine science as its months under water at those depths and cold temperatures provided a real-life experiment. Alvin was so intact that lunches left on board were soggy but edible. This incident led to a more comprehensive understanding that near-freezing temperatures and the lack of decaying bacteria at increased depths prevented biological decay. Researchers found a cheese sandwich which exhibited no visible signs of decomposition, and was in fact eaten. But the submersible itself required a major overhaul by WHOI. Earlier in my career I worked with an electronics technician who had been responsible for replacing all of the wiring and electronics on Alvin during this overhaul.
Certainly from a popular events perspective, Alvin’s most famous efforts may have come from its involvement in the exploration of the wreckage of RMS Titanic south of Newfoundland in 1986. She carried Dr. Robert Ballard and two companions to the wreckage of the great liner. Many of the photographs of the expedition have been published in the magazine of the National Geographic Society which was a major sponsor of the expedition.
WHOI has a detailed history of Alvin for those who care to delve further and NPR recently ran a story about this most-famous submersible and the 18 month refurbishing it will undergo.
Alvin is a 16-ton, manned deep-ocean research submersible owned by the United States Navy and operated by the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI). The submersible was named to honor the prime mover and creative inspiration for the project, Allyn Vine, a scientist at WHOI. Alvin was put into service in mid 1964 (5 months after the Beatles stormed the Ed Sullivan show and 5 years before man walked on the moon). This was a time when French oceanographer and SCUBA inventor Jacques Cousteau was all over our black & white TV sets showing us how to explore our watery planet. The oceans were spoken of as man’s salvation for their mineral wealth, aquaculture potential and maybe future human habitats. High School guidance counselors assumed that a large percent of their graduating classes would be employed in some facet of ocean-related careers. As it turned out, not-so-much.
But Alvin has had a stellar run and this month will be sidelined for 18 months of refurbishing – not its first make-over in its long career. The three-person vessel allows for two scientists and one pilot to dive for up to nine hours at 15,000 ft. The submersible features two robotic arms and can be fitted with mission-specific sampling and experimental gear. Alvin has taken 12,000 people on over 4,000 dives to observe the life forms that must cope with super-pressures and move about in total darkness. Some claim that research conducted by Alvin has been featured in nearly 2,000 scientific papers. Talk about publish-or-perish!
On 17 March 1966, Alvin was used to locate a submerged 1.45-megaton hydrogen bomb lost in a United States Air Force midair crash between a B-52 bomber and a KC-135 tanker during mid-air refueling over Palomares, Spain. Three of four unarmed hydrogen bombs carried by the B-52 landed on Palomares while a forth fell into the sea. After much searching Alvin found the missing bomb found resting nearly 3000 ft deep.
A year later Alvin encounter a somewhat less dangerous situation as it was attacked by a swordfish during a dive at 2,000 ft. The swordfish became trapped in Alvin's skin, and the submersible made an emergency return to the surface – where the swordfish was recovered and cooked for dinner.
Another Alvin accomplishment was locating the wreckage of the USS Scorpion (SSN-589), a nuclear armed Skipjack class submarine which sank for unknown reasons off the coast of the Azores in 1968. The Alvin was able to obtain photographic and other environmental monitoring data from the remains of the Scorpion.
Late in 1968 Alvin, was lost as it was being transported aboard the NOAA tender ship Lulu and two steel cables snapped when it was being lowered into the water for a planned dive. The three crewmembers escaped, but Alvin flooded and sank in 5000 ft of water. Severe weather prevented the immediate recovery of but it was photographed on the bottom in June 1969 and found to be upright and apparently intact. It was decided to attempt recovery of Alvin; although no object of that size had ever been recovered from a depth of 5,000 feet. In late August 1969, another submersible was able to secure a line and safety slings on the Alvin allowing it to be hauled up to near the surface where it was slowly towed back to Woods Hole.
Alvin continued to serve marine science as its months under water at those depths and cold temperatures provided a real-life experiment. Alvin was so intact that lunches left on board were soggy but edible. This incident led to a more comprehensive understanding that near-freezing temperatures and the lack of decaying bacteria at increased depths prevented biological decay. Researchers found a cheese sandwich which exhibited no visible signs of decomposition, and was in fact eaten. But the submersible itself required a major overhaul by WHOI. Earlier in my career I worked with an electronics technician who had been responsible for replacing all of the wiring and electronics on Alvin during this overhaul.
Certainly from a popular events perspective, Alvin’s most famous efforts may have come from its involvement in the exploration of the wreckage of RMS Titanic south of Newfoundland in 1986. She carried Dr. Robert Ballard and two companions to the wreckage of the great liner. Many of the photographs of the expedition have been published in the magazine of the National Geographic Society which was a major sponsor of the expedition.
WHOI has a detailed history of Alvin for those who care to delve further and NPR recently ran a story about this most-famous submersible and the 18 month refurbishing it will undergo.
A Great "Fella"
I usually leave the baseball stories and statistics to AVI who knows far more about the game than I. But I did want to note this week’s passing of Hall of Famer, Bob Feller at 92 years of age. In 1936, as a high school junior, Mr. Feller signed with the Cleveland Indians for $1 and an autographed baseball (he never pitched in the minor leagues). By 1940, he was one of the highest-paid players in the game. Before he turned 23 in 1941, Feller - nicknamed "Rapid Robert" - had 107 victories and was well on his way to being one of the most dominant pitchers in baseball history.
But two days after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Feller gave up his lucrative baseball career to join the war effort. He enlisted in the Navy and missed three full seasons and most of a fourth while serving as the chief of a gunnery crew aboard the battleship USS Alabama. He returned to baseball late in 1945, then recorded his finest all-around season in 1946, with 26 wins and his 36 complete games that year remain the highest total in baseball since 1916.
Throughout the ’40s, the Indians were a powerhouse, battling the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and Detroit Tigers for the American League pennant. Ted Williams once referred to Feller as “the fastest and best pitcher I ever saw during my career.” Red Sox Nation members today could no doubt identify with Feller’s “I would rather beat the Yankees regularly than pitch a no-hit game.’’
Feller retired in 1956 and some say he could have attained even greater prominence in the game if he hadn’t made the detour for military service. But ever grounded, Feller’s only response to that conjecture, "You'll never hear me complain about my time in the service.” Baseball is insignificant when it comes to war."
Occasionally, in the chat leading up to launching their “Who’s on First” comedy routine, Abbott and Costello would drop Bob Feller’s name into the dialogue. But here, they performed a variation of the routine just focusing on Feller. A comedic, but great tribute to a notable American.
But two days after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Feller gave up his lucrative baseball career to join the war effort. He enlisted in the Navy and missed three full seasons and most of a fourth while serving as the chief of a gunnery crew aboard the battleship USS Alabama. He returned to baseball late in 1945, then recorded his finest all-around season in 1946, with 26 wins and his 36 complete games that year remain the highest total in baseball since 1916.
Throughout the ’40s, the Indians were a powerhouse, battling the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and Detroit Tigers for the American League pennant. Ted Williams once referred to Feller as “the fastest and best pitcher I ever saw during my career.” Red Sox Nation members today could no doubt identify with Feller’s “I would rather beat the Yankees regularly than pitch a no-hit game.’’
Feller retired in 1956 and some say he could have attained even greater prominence in the game if he hadn’t made the detour for military service. But ever grounded, Feller’s only response to that conjecture, "You'll never hear me complain about my time in the service.” Baseball is insignificant when it comes to war."
Occasionally, in the chat leading up to launching their “Who’s on First” comedy routine, Abbott and Costello would drop Bob Feller’s name into the dialogue. But here, they performed a variation of the routine just focusing on Feller. A comedic, but great tribute to a notable American.
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